June 21, 2010

• Warning: This is not a happy entry....

  Just spent my entire lunchbreak on the phone with th US government. Been working on figuring out my student loans.

  Between two years of horrifically expensive education... Requiring 4 different government loans, plus 2 different private loans.. Plus the debt accrued from buying 6 months of very expensive train tickets and living in England on part time wages and other times no wages at all... I am officially totally screwed.

  I owe so many entities so much money it feels like prison except in prison you get 3 square meals a day. And right now I am having a very difficult time seeing the upside to all of it. (Or really seeing in general cos I cant stop crying )  and because I'm looking at those 3+ years and thinking 'what did I come away with?' .... a degree I don't get to use, skills I love but that aren't marketable at the moment, a job I don't need a degree to do, and a heart broken into so many tiny pieces there isn't enuf left to count....

  So. You tell me, was it worth it? I don't know anymore.

  I don't know.

   

  • 5:11 pm
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