I'm surrounded by smoggies some of Gregs family arrived today and I'm LOVING hearing the Northern English accent again:):) it's making me homesick. And in the next few days more and more of his mates and family will be arriving. It'll almost be like being in England again almost. It's kinda funny being around southern accents and English accents... Especially since we all know how prone I am to 'take on' an accent when I'm immersed in one and especially since I had a southern accent growing up... It's hard not to parrot people around me. Lol. We leave super early saturday for South Carolina x this is all moving so quickly... Why doesn't time u want to go slowly move as slowly as it does when u want it to speed by??? I'm not sure that even made sense but oh well. It's late and I'm v v jet lagged.
so.... Long car journey tomoz. Then beaching it up. Yeah. Hope the sun is out!!! X
love yous!!! Xx

I made it it was an overnight flight with lots of stops (seattle, cincinnati, Lexington) but Im here. Then we went to louisville to pick some stuff up and to see about an emergency fitting for my dress!! They are going to be able to take in waist, hips and some more of the top.... And everything should b good but the top the dress was/is just too big. They are going to try some things but the truth is I'm just going to appear bigger there than I am and we can't do too much more without completely changing the dress... But at least it will b better. Lots better

I'm so so happy to see my friends. I am everyday aware of how much I miss them but being with them makes me realise just how much and how much they were there for me in England and how grateful I am to have loving and good and kind friends. Nat and Greg are so cute and happy. They are so lucky to have found eachother... We were laughing that it only took Nat moving clear accross the world and a whole lot of debt to find him... But they found eachother:) and Im excited to b apart of their lives and of this amazing time for them. And just glad to b with my friends again xx

It's hot and it's humid but it's lovely. The sicadas are singing in the trees and I bet I'll see some lightening bugs!!! I'm staying in a proper mansion with the best kind of people. And Im also really excited to move on to the beach on saturday... Charleston is supposed to b beautiful and I'm excited to see it... And to hit the beach hardcore lol. I need to break out my camera tomoz and take some photos xxxxx I'll try n post some soon X

x

Here I am on a plane. Why am I such a nervous traveler/flyer??? Heart pounding pulse racing feet tapping.... I'm excited but neeeerrrrvvvoooouuuusssss!!!! Wish u were here with me. So so so much.
First stop... Seattle. Here we go. X

If you could see my room right now.... you would think i was moving!! Packing for a 2 and 1/2 week trip away is kind of a bit stressful... not to mention making sure everything is done and set for while I am away. But I am very excited to see my friends and be at their wedding and I am excited to see you guys the week after that :)

The dress came back from the alterations lady.... now instead of being able to fit 2 footballs in it with me.... you can fit 2 softballs in it with me... I am NOT pleased... not pleased at all. I paid a lot for the alterations and to still have it not fit!!! Granted the dress was literally 4 sizes too big for me... I am not sure how a size 12 was ordered from my measurements but.... there may be no way to make a size 12 fit my body and still be right... dad said, 'how can you expect someone to be able to cut a dress in half and have it still look right?" I guess he is right I am afraid Nat is going to freak out... I am freaking out!! grrrrrrr!!!!! stressssssss!!!!! I am sure she is already stressed about so many other things and now she will have to find out that the dress looks redonkulously huge on me.  

I am trying to get meself all packed and ready before I leave for work tomorrow cos I will have to leave for the airport straight from work. sigh. I am hopeing some of this trip is going to be relaxing. It has been so so so soooooooo long since I have had a proper holiday. The kind where you are somewhere new and interesting and warm and with people you love and you can forget about work and church and life and all other stresses you are dealing with... I cant even remember the last time. But I have feeling that this wedding will be like all others... full of lots to do and last minute hicups and a bit of freaking out  

I am off to continue packing... formal dresses, both fabulous and too big, swimming suits, running outfits, sundresses and shoes shoes shoes and some sandals

x

So I am guessing that it is obvious that I have been doing a lot of running... and for me running is truly a time for contemplation and self evaluation. It is a good time cos I can beat myself up mentally... but at the same time be beating myself up so much physically that it almost balances it all out... does that even make any sense??? i guess to me it does and that is what matters.

SO... a lot of running means a lot of thinking... about bad choices and good ones and about how to improve and how to learn to be happy with my life as it is going to be.... and I have decided that life is a lot like running, for me anyway. At first I resist it... maybe dont even want to do it... leave it to the last minute but eventually I tie on my trainers and head out the door... the first 1/2 a mile always feels awkward to me... I'm tight and uncoordinated and it is a struggle to keep going and not turn around and go home... but I keep running... then things click a little more but things start to hurt and I stay tight... its uncomfortable and doesn't feel right or good... but I keep going... then it seems like movements become mechanical... like I am just going through the motions... one foot in front of the other because that is what i have told my legs to do... still doesn't feel good... in fact, unless it is hurting... I don't really feel anything but the pounding of the hard concrete as it vibrates through my bones.... step, step, step... then the side starts to cramp and the breathing gets a little harder... and I really want to give up... but I am so close to my goal for the day... cant give up now... ouch... ouch... OUCH.... then... magically... and for such a short amount of time... everything clicks... and things feel good and right and smooth and perfect (this is the part where the body has finally released the natural endorphins... natures pain killers..) and for a few seconds I think to myself "I AM A RUNNER!!!"... and then the legs feel like lead again, something starts to hurt and it starts all over again... but by then I am so close to home that I cant give up now... so i pound through the pain... til I cross the finish line... or have made it back home (same thing really, yeah?)

so to me... running is life. sometimes its ackward and hard and things dont feel right... other times life hurts like hell... other brief magical moments feel like heaven and like everything is the way it should be (I find these moments do not last, just as they dont during my run) but they do spur me on... and help me to believe that there will be other times when things will feel right and okay again... and i will feel like a runner in my own life.... like the runner OF my own life... and it is those brief moments that keep me going through the hellish painful hurtful parts... spurring me on toward my goal... keeping me headed for the finish line, for home.

I have also discovered that when running I sometimes have someone there with me, encouraging me and helping me keep a good pace... and other times I are the only motivation that I have... I have to be the one to get myself on the road and to keep myself on that road. Those times can be very lonely and and it can be very hard to keep focused... but they seem to be the times of greatest growth... cos when you are the one controlling your life... you are the one making the decisions and you are the one pushing yourself to be better and to be all you can be then you learn the most and become stronger. And of course this can be true for life... some people need someone with them always... encouraging, guiding, planning for them, making their choices for them... and others are lone wolves they pound out their lives all on their own... blazing their own trails... sometimes failing... and sometimes having no one to pick them up when they fall... but progressing, learning, growing stronger....

"what does not kill me only makes me stronger..." 

I am a runner. I will be the runner of my own life. I will not be controlled by others choices. Even if I am alone forever. I will be empowered. I will be strong. 

Here are finally some more during treatment pics of the painting I have been telling you about... I will have to get the post treatment photos off of Dad's camera... as you can see my camera doesn't take nearly good enough pics for detail... but Dad's is amazing!!! Too bad he is taking it to China!! But as soon as I have enough moo-la... I have the perfect camera and lens all picked out!!! It will be awwwwweeesoooome!

This is post cleaning and post varnish removal/ new coat and the beginning stages of the retouching... I had to wait for the tear repair before I could do the final touches...

a detail of one of the worst parts... where there had been pink and dark blue paint splotches all over the painting's surface... it is to the left of the tree above the tree line in the background... and then up along the top of the painting within the tops of the trees... all dreaded sky you can probably also see how uneven and distorted the paper is... trixy... very trixy x

More studio shots... finally got the IKEA trolly put together I really like it

The somewhat finished chester drawers.... still needs new drawer pulls and and coat of paint along the bottom... sigh... what a project!

Working at night can be hard... I need better lights... The photograph I am working on there just left the studio today I got paid for it today too.... gonna put my first dollar in a frame... next to my diploma lol x

I made more than a dollar... which technically I promptly turned around and spent on one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen/worn!!I bought it for one of the formal events coming up for the wedding!! And... I am going to wear it to our own family wedding celebration event x  but with a red sash not a pink one. It is GORGEOUS (and I might proudly, but not smugly (cos I had to work really hard to get here) say... is a size 4!! yeah... that is a lot of running and working out in the gym... but totally worth it to rock a size 4) :)

But in truth... the money I spent was earned from my other job... all studio money goes to the studio... it is just a rule I have. For now.

So now I have 2 Japanese paintings in the studio... one on paper and the other on silk backed by paper... gonna be a paper conservator after all maybe... lol.

X 

Have several lists about 2 miles long each of things to do before I leave for Kentucky/South Carolina. I am pretty excited about my 2 and 1/2 week holiday coming up!! Cant wait to see all of you and spend lots of time together :) xxxxxx

X

V V V V HAPPY ITS FRIDAY!!!! What a crazy/busy/too fastly moving week wish the weekend was gonna b any better. Ahhhhhhh! X

So... because I am part art historian... and it is just what I do, and also because I am 100% nerd... I have found out quite a bit about the artist who's painting I just finished working on... his name is Alfred Lambourne and he was born in England in 1850. The crazy thing is that when he was young and living in England his family converted to the LDS religion and moved to the United States! He lived in Missouri until he and his family moved west to Salt Lake City... He kept a sketch book all along the trek to Utah. When arriving in Salt Lake he began working for the Salt Lake Theater Company painting sets. He is associated with the Rocky Mountain School of painting... and is known for his landscapes. He accompanied Brigham Young on an expedition to Zion Canyon and produced the first sketches of that area. He was also a muralist and a panoramic painter. One of his paintings of the Salt Lake Valley is 25 feet long... and he travelled across the US with other panoramic artists showing and introducing people to the wonders of the West through their art. He was one of the first artists to visit and paint Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon and Yosemite!!! And the coolest thing of all is that several of his paintings are in the Salt Lake Temple!!! And Crazy that I should get one of his little studies here in Eugene What a fun thing to treat and to learn about. and this will not look too shabby on the CV as I am trying to get more work in Utah

So there is your art history lesson for the day... I would show you some after treatment pics but I can't find my stupid camera cable!!! I am super annoyed at myself... where oh where could it have gone????

k, lectures over... there will be a blue book essay exam when I next see you... which will be preeeeetyyyyyy sooooooooon!!! X

Ps. also finally got extremely too big dress to the fitters... will look pretty cute when it isn't so big you could fit 2 footballs in the top with me better too big than too small though... wouldn't you say?

ahhhh... the weekend is GONE and I have accomplished so little and yet so much. I have spent lots and lots of time in the studio this weekend. All of Friday night (I know what you are thinking... LOOOOOOSEEEEER.... but it HAD to be done) and most of Saturday (minus a 4.5 mile run and a sunburn) and quite a bit of Sunday retouching retouching retouching... and of course it is mostly sky that has to be retouched!!! (Sky is the hardest thing to get just right for me at least). the painting will go back Monday morning and as soon as i drop it off I will head to a new clients house to pick up a new painting... nothing like getting one out and getting another to take its place I had a pretty good retouching day yesterday but today I have been wanted to throw the painting through the window... and I honestly wish I could have my studio mate back... just for a few minutes... I wouldn't even make him talk to me if he didn't want to!!! .... all he'd have to do is come to the studio and do his magic and make those final touches that he always did that made the in-painting just disappear... if only. I need some help just to make it that little bit more perfect.... sigh. But I am never fully satisfied with my own work... I will have to really work on that since the only one I have left to rely on is me.

here are some pre-cleaning/varnish removal/all other treatment shots so you can see how the painting came in....

it is oil on paper... a study for a mural. The artist was apparently one of the mural painters for the Salt Lake Temple! This painting has a date on the back that says 1847.

you can tell it is a study 1) it is oil on PAPER 2) there are pin marks in it all over the place where the artist probably tacked it up to use as a reference 3) it was very poorly treated by the artist... paint splatters, pencil marks, etc... It was a mess... there are lots of tears and creases in the paper support. But is really is a lovely little painting I will post the post-treatment pics later. it is going to be on exhibition in Southern California next month kinda cool.

I have to be up early so I can deliver the painting and pick up the new one before I have to be at my "paying job" (lol). Not that this one doesn't pay... just not enough.... YET.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend x