I know we are all happy to know that the aged Ps are safe and sound in the land of China... missing them terribly. I was telling someone the other day that it is strange how I feel myself slipping into a state of being that I know all too well... it is the same feeling/state i was in for the year and a half that I stayed in England after I finished Uni and all of my friends had left Newcastle... such a sense of being so alone... and I find myself doing some of the same things I did then... thinking about what i can do to fill my time... looking for things to keep myself busy so I don't go insane... thinking I need to get out of the house so i feel like i am doing something and then not knowing what to do once I leave it and finding myself aimlessly walking around town or the shops feeling numb and a little bit stupid but trying to imagine that I am accomplishing something.... sigh.... what a horrible feeling being alone is... I am so glad that I am not ever truly alone and that I have family and friends that are there for me whenever I need them xx and I am finding my heart breaking for those people in the world who really are alone and really don't have anyone... what a terrifying thought, what a sad existence I am trying to be better about reaching out to people... keeping connections that are important to me and making new ones... I am trying...

and I am also lucky to have a job that keeps me so so busy and a studio that keeps me busy in my time off and Boisie close by and friends who will try and fill the void... and lucky that I have two big humongous dogs who fight over who gets to be next to me on the bed and who fight to get the most attention from me x

I know we are feeling a sense of loss having M and D a world away and having it be hard to communicate with them ... so if you ever need to... come home I am here... we can hike mountains and swim in the sea and ski down mountains and float rivers and talk and laugh and be a family I love you guys x as I have said before... I am here if you need me xxxxx 

More pics of Mom and Dad.....

so many personalities being expressed in this one pic... hilarious :) xx

X

Well.... here is what I have been saying to myself and to everyone who asks.... if something were not going right we would have heard from BYU.... and there are no messages or missed phone calls... I think its ok. they had lots to do as soon as they got there... go to police station etc... and I am sure it will take a while to get set up so they can email etc... but IT KIND OF IS THE FAMILY RULE THAT YOU LET SOMEONE KNOW ASAP WHEN YOU ARE THERE AND YOU ARE THERE SAFE!!!! so M and D if you are reading this.... keep your own dam rule... please xxxxxx we miss you xxxxxx

new little gem in the studio today :) a little miniature portrait painted on ivory... tiny little treat x will be one of like 8-10 cant wait to get a good look at it also spoke with the MOA today and it is a done deal panting #1 (and #1 painting) is coming to the studio.... this is where studio boy who is whiz at in-painting and lifting heavy panel paintings comes in handy... shall I advertise on Craig's list ??? lol ".....preferably tall, dark and handsome.... who likes outdoor sports in his spare time, loves dogs and looks good with shirt off..." wait... did I write that??? hehe.

miss you xxxxx thinking of everyone and wishing we were all together right now xxxxx nearly time Jess and Mikey :):) xxxxx cant wait to meet him x

My birthday dinner... that was really the saying goodbye to Mom and Dad party ... it was the night before they left. I hope you like these pics... I think mom and dad look luminous and beautiful. Feel free to 'poach them' as Deek would say :) xx

I LOVE this one of Dad... he is glowing and looks so handsome.

Isn't mom stunning here??? She is so amazing that lady... I miss her so much already and its only been 24 hours  

I can just hear her funny laugh as I look at this one x

Handsome, handsome Daddy xx

I have some shots of you guys saying goodbye to them when we left Utah... I have found out how to get them off my broken camera... so look for them soon. These were taken with my new splendiferous camera.... as i said... I am in love. funny how I said I would only use it for the studio.... uh.... right.

Loves you guys... you know my number if you need to talk or if you need to cry or if you need anything at all.... Im just a phone call or text away x

Some B-day pics

Not all cos I still have to find out how to download pics from my new super duper awesomely spectacular fantastic camera :) i am in love

but here are some from the day taken with iPhone camera

Jeff brought me balloons and a card and flowers... all princess themed... and he kept calling me the Hawes Financial princess.... don't know how i feel about being called a princess... but it was so nice to be shown that I am appreciated and cared for...

Pretty flowers, huh?? they smell soooooo goooood

Me and the Boss

my new fav Thai restaurant.. where we went for lunch... this is actually called "oh my god"... cos that is what you say when you taste it... it is absurd it is so good :p

me and Allison x

The coconut Ice Cream that is to DIE for.... 

And..... Here are some pics from my phone that I got of the retreat... i am hoping to be able to salvage the ones on my busted camera... there are some HILarious ones of me trying to get into my wetsuit :) I can laugh at myself... and believe me, after that... there is no pride left between me and my co-workers :)

South Jetty... surfing mecca of Florence OR

Surfs Up baby x

wild sea...

coming in... finally, I never want to come out x

 

tomorrow is doomsday number 1.... the beginning of the you know what storm :( ugh.... will we make it???? who knows.

x love you x thanks for the phone calls and texts and emails and videos and songs sung and stuff and stuff x it made my day special xx miss you lots and lots... as always xx

I have been bad lately about keeping this updated

Our work retreat was fun... I am completely and absolutely shattered from the event!!! I was working non stop to get it ready and then up all hours of the night pre event... then Thursday up by 4 am to get everything together and to the coast for an 8am start.... I was note taker for all meetings, cook for breakfasts and lunches, cleaning lady for house, organizer of all activities.... I was the first one in the water when it was time for surfing and skim boarding and sea kayaking and body surfing, etc, and the last one out of said water ... organizer of dinner reservations and one making sure no one was driving drunk... finder of place on beach to build fire out of and away from the wind (which required hiking and crossing a small river in the dark) and leader of roasting s'mores!! The place we found was perfect for seeing lots and lots of stars and seeing ocean by moonlight.... and I was last to bed... and first up on Friday at 4am to get everyone ready for surprise clam digging activity... was the one who fell in the thick and deep mud 3 times LOL... responsible for all the note taking, cooking, etc stuff above again for the next day... I was also the last one to leave Friday night cos I had to pack every thing up and clean the house etc... I pretty much fell asleep every time I sat down yesterday.... and today... I am exhausted.... but i think it went well and everyone had some good training as well as a good time... my camera got broken... a certain someone was supposed to be taking photos of those of us doing water sports... next thing i knew.. the camera was inside (the battery had supposedly 'run out') and next time i checked it had sand in it and had been dropped and is not working!!!! I AM DEVO'D!!!! My camera is one of those things I have on me at all times!!! I AM NEVER WITHOUT CAMERA!!!! what will i do???

In related news.... I got a new real live camera for my b-day... for the studio... it. is. amAZing.... it will not be going to the beach. but it is AWESOME!!!! M and D and Andrea helped me pay for it for my b-day gift.... with the work that will be coming into to the studio soon... it is a necessity

so in case you don't know.... I made an appointment with the MOA while i was in Utah to meet with first the registrar and then with the Director... and the meetings went really well and they are going to start sending their paintings that need conservation to me here in my little studio.... and then on Friday, I found out that they are sending a very VERY important painting to me.. one that I thought they would NEVER let me touch... and one that scares the living daylights out of me.... especially since what it needs is subtle retouching.... and we ALL KNOW that retouching is my least fav and the thing I am the very least confidant in.... I am shaking in my skin and sweating a little just typing this... and the work has to be done on it by January cos it is going on loan to some major museums... and will be in the exhibition catalogue.... so really good news for my little studio.... if I don't F it up. It will be very good to say that i am the conservator for a major museum here in the west and the treatment of this painting (again if I don't F it up) will be MINT for the portfolio. I have a security system guy coming to the house on Monday to talk about installation of a good system... feels like things may be taking off a bit for my little business happy birthday to me :) x

the day is feeling overshadowed by the departure of mom and dad on Tuesday.... as we all are feeling it... I know that you will know that I am feeling very VERY VERRRYYYY sad.

for now... i am to bed.

Love yous

x 

So first day back to work yesterday... and I lie not... I didn't even have time to clock in before people were giving me lists of things I had to get done and that were in 'urgent need' of my attention... there were files of work in stacks on my desk... i never did get clocked in. I will have to have my boss put me down in the computer for the 10 straight hours I worked yesterday.... sigh. and today was not much different.. but I at least managed to get myself clocked in before the chaos began!! We have a sales team retreat this Thursday and Friday at the Oregon coast.. and I am in charge of organizing it and making sure all the behind the scenes stuff is taken care of... food, lodging, activities, wet suit rentals for the surfing and boogie boarding... licenses for the clam digging... the purchasing of clam buckets and shovels... you know the typical stuff. lol.

In a way it is good to have LOTS to do at work cos then i have less time to think about how bummed I am that all the things I have been so looking forward to are done and now there is nothing but crap stuff coming my way... beginning with Mom and Dad leaving in a week...the day after by birfday  and if I wasn't so busy I think id be having post- holiday blues BIG TIME... worse than I already am... I just want to be back on a warm and sunny beach soaking in the UV rays and walking on the beach with my bff... or hanging out with you... talking, laughing, crying from laughing so hard and/or from talking about the things that mean the most to us in the world.

And I miss just kicking it and watching you with your kiddos and seeing you be so happy in your lives x

I guess I can look forward to learning to surf... even if it is in the freezing cold pacific ocean and I will have to be in a full body wet suit I have ALWAYS wanted to learn to surf... I bet I come back an addict... that... or dead. lol.

I know, I know... I have lots of pics I need to post... but sleepytown is calling my name...and as much as I dread going to bed cos it means I have to get up in the morning.... it must be done. So here I drift to dreamland. Maybe I will come back to you while I am there.....

X

....and you will be happy to know that an email has been composed... telling Campbell that I will happily and gladly take on the painting.... the one going on tour to the Louvre, the Getty and more.... I am shaking in my gas mask... but I will do it if they really want to send it my way.... (I'm sweating a little just thinking about it!!!) yipes.

x

We have made it home.... and I am so so sad I am sure that the post holiday blues are about to hit BIG TIME!! They already have really

I have to go to work tomorrow will I even remember how to get there??? I dont know. I have been looking forward to the wedding and the anniversary for so long and now they are both gone... seeing you is gone.. and now i have only dreaded things to look forward to. I am thinking a month long trip to the bahamas or BETTER YET... ITALY with friends and family is in order for November... otherwise who knows what could happen... :(

I am going to add some of the ba-zillion pics from the wedding.... and I have so so so many more plus all the photos from Utah to post x

 

 

 

It was such a good time..... and now I miss my friend even more than ever x

BEAUTIFUL, BEAUUUUTIIIIFUL BRIDE!!!! it was lovely and perfect and fun and busy and everything in between... I've got lots of pics and stories.... Some hilarous, some involving REDICULOUSLY toooo young of boys thinking I'm their age :) and some so sweet and lovely I tear up just thinking about them. I'm so so glad I came, for sooo many reasons but most of all to see some of my bestest friends in the world on such an important day and to see them so so amazingly happy and in love. AND NOW.... I get to come to you and celebrate 40 years of love and happiness for our own family!!! Yeah!!! So here I am in another airport... With ready swollen eyes from leaving one set of best friends getting ready to come to my best friends EVER :) x I will be there with you soon (and hopefully at SOME POINT FOR THE 1st time in over a week will have cell phone service!!! But I'm happy to finally have some Internet too)
see u soon my family!!! Xxxxx