August 30, 2010
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I know we are all happy to know that the aged Ps are safe and sound in the land of China… missing them terribly. I was telling someone the other day that it is strange how I feel myself slipping into a state of being that I know all too well… it is the same feeling/state i was in for the year and a half that I stayed in England after I finished Uni and all of my friends had left Newcastle… such a sense of being so alone… and I find myself doing some of the same things I did then… thinking about what i can do to fill my time… looking for things to keep myself busy so I don’t go insane… thinking I need to get out of the house so i feel like i am doing something and then not knowing what to do once I leave it and finding myself aimlessly walking around town or the shops feeling numb and a little bit stupid but trying to imagine that I am accomplishing something…. sigh…. what a horrible feeling being alone is… I am so glad that I am not ever truly alone and that I have family and friends that are there for me whenever I need them xx and I am finding my heart breaking for those people in the world who really are alone and really don’t have anyone… what a terrifying thought, what a sad existence
I am trying to be better about reaching out to people… keeping connections that are important to me and making new ones… I am trying…
and I am also lucky to have a job that keeps me so so busy and a studio that keeps me busy in my time off and Boisie close by and friends who will try and fill the void… and lucky that I have two big humongous dogs who fight over who gets to be next to me on the bed and who fight to get the most attention from me
x
I know we are feeling a sense of loss having M and D a world away and having it be hard to communicate with them … so if you ever need to… come home
I am here… we can hike mountains and swim in the sea and ski down mountains and float rivers and talk and laugh and be a family
I love you guys x as I have said before… I am here if you need me xxxxx
More pics of Mom and Dad…..
so many personalities being expressed in this one pic… hilarious
:) xx
X
Comments (4)
the hardest part has been when your bummed about something you cant dial 10 digits and hear mommas voice of comfort. Is there an email typing of comfort?
@mike_jessbullock -
maybe soon enough they will have cell phones and we can dial like 25 digits and hear that amazing voice of comfort….
and soon my little Mikey you will be that voice of comfort for your little one
:):) Im getting so excited for the day!!! are you more excited for baby bugs arrival or the duck game???? hmmmmm….
xx love you xx
I believe its a mix!! Obviously Im more excited to have rabies (heathers nick name: Raiden+Babies=Rabies!!!) But im pretty pumped that i get to watch my first duck game as a daddy as he watches it on my lap with his hands together in the air making the shape of an “O,” screaming “oooooooooooh” and finishing with a good old fashioned cry!! Can you video chat on yur puter?
@mike_jessbullock - ha ha!!! I love that… rabies
x he will be so cute
:) and yeah I can video chat… i gots the iPuter like
and I can also video e-chat through my gmail
:) xxxx lets get it running so I can see Rabies
I kinda like baby bug better
x goooooood luck tomorrow
:) xx love you xx